Last year as I was just about to leave for uni, I was feeling heavy-hearted. Coz I felt so hard to leave the place where I grew up and the people who used to protect me from whatever circumstances.

A year had passed. On 7th July I'll be going back to KL and starting my year two. Things had changed.

I want to leave this place so much. I don't feel like coming back as much as possible. I don't wanna see some of the people over here.

Have you ever felt deserted in a place where you grew up?
Have you ever felt like you had no friends even though you had been here all your life?
Have you ever felt like you can trust no one even if they are the ones who grew up with you?
Have you ever felt being called a busybody for things and people you cared about?
Have you ever felt like you are sick of being control and your privacy invaded?
Have you ever felt like asking some busybody aunties to shut up and mind their own business?
Have you ever felt like asking people to stop commenting bout the clothes you wear?
Have you ever wished secretly that those people who hurt you so much without knowing it die and rot in hell?
Have you ever felt like shouting at someone: "Stop talking like you know everything!!!"

There are so many 'have you ever...' going on in my mind right now. I bet all of you had these moments as well. You want people to know how you feel but they won't feel it. And you felt so alone. Like you are the only person on the Earth feeling this way.

I do not feel alone. I have Jesus. I know that He knows how I felt.

He had felt deserted at the place He was born coz nobody welcomed him. He had no friends back at Bethlehem. He had people talking bad things about Him behind his back and right in front of His face. People laughed at Him when He told them that He was The Son of God. He had many enemies waiting to pounce at him at the best moment to come.

And the one thing he suffered more than me was dying on the cross and go through death alone. Nobody can top that and because of that I know I am way luckier to be me

Many of you may think that I am trying to preach. No, actually I am not. I just wanna tell those people who are trying to see me fall... I don't know if those people read my blog or not... I just wanna let you know that you can't coz I have a fortress who will protect me from whatever things you guys are doing trying to hurt me. And I felt sorry for you guys coz I have Jesus' comfort while you guys will just continue living in your pathetic self-destructive lives.

NOTE: If I do not make any sense in this post, please forgive me.